Hey Dad, it’s me –  
It’s been a month, 4 weeks, 30 days,  720 hours, 43,200 minutes. You get the idea.

God we miss you. All of you. The good and bad. I want to know so many things.

Did dying hurt? Were you scared? Are you okay? Do you finally believe we all love you? Even now that you’re dead? What do you do now with your time?  Do you see us? Do you watch mom when she sleeps?  Can you read our thoughts? If you can I am sorry for thinking angry thoughts about you. 

When I close my eyes and think about you it’s with a cup of iced coffee, a cigarette, and sweat dripping off your face because you’re working outside on one of your many projects.

What have you missed? A lot and nothing. 

Mom seems to be hanging in there, she’s a trooper. She’s remembering you when you as  whole and healthy. That makes me happy. My siblings seem to be doing okay but to be completely honest I have’r really asked lately and I need to be better at that.

I don’t sleep well dad. My sleep is interrupted with dreams of you. My anxiety is on high alert, and my mind is experiencing a fog.

Spring will be here shortly, another season.

The deal is whether we like it or not life is going forward. Time is marching on and I can’t stop it no matter how hard I try.

I can’t remember what your voice sounds like anymore. I look at your photo everyday because I never want to forget what you look like. I fond myself mid-dial calling you to ask about preparing chicken and then realizing you were no longer here.

I just miss yo Dad. All of you. 

It’s been a month, 4 weeks, 30 days, 720 hours, 43,200 minutes. You get the idea.