Dear Dad,

I haven’t written you a letter in a really long time. I’m not sure why. In fact, I haven’t written you since Father’s Day. I had all good intentions to write you on your birthday but then I remembered you hated your birthday, and you never wanted it to be at knowledged. So if you didn’t want it acknowledge in life, I don’t know why you’d want to acknowledge and death.

In January 2019 it will be three years since we last saw you, heard your voice, kissed your face, held your hand, Or felt the essence of you through your spirit.

I don’t think anybody could have prepared me for what being without a father is really like, or what it would have be like. Regardless of how much we argued, fought, or locked horns, I was still your daughter and I now know how much you loved me and how much I loved you.

Things are hard right now dad. Things have been really hard since May 2015. And I don’t really understand why. Maybe there really is no reason why. Maybe it’s just the way it is. Maybe we caused it. Maybe it’s karma. Maybe it’s preparing us for something really big, or really bad. I don’t really know – I just know that we have had our share of frustration, sadness and sorrow – enough to last a lifetime and we just are begging for some relief. I do know that if you were alive you would tell me that all of this too shall pass. You would tell me that we cannot stress about those things we cannot control. You could also tell me that things would work out and sometimes we just need to let things soak. And even though you’re not here to talk to thinking about what you tell me gives me some small amount of comfort because reality is we don’t know what our future holds. We hope to God that things are turning around for us but really we don’t know.

Winter is coming dad. This was the time of year that you predicted your death and you were right. I’ve never liked winter. I have always feared it, even as a child I figured winter and maybe I knew in the back of my mind that winter would be the time that you would transition to another place and die. We have mom, and she still going strong. I just pray and hope that she stays healthy and we have her for at least another 10 years. You be so proud of her dad, she’s doing so well, and believe it or not she’s in a good place.

I love you dad. We all love you dad. And we miss you so very very much